The Waves Burn Bright Read online

  ‘You are not waking her up.’

  ‘She loves geology. Been reading those volcano books.’

  ‘Only because you wouldn’t let her bring any others.’

  ‘She has others. She likes the volcano ones.’

  ‘She has one other and that’s because I bought her it in the airport.’

  ‘Stupid book. Ghosts and pixies and nonsense.’

  ‘She’s eight, Marcus.’

  ‘You say that like it’s a handicap. Her age is only relevant as a stage in her development. You say she’s only eight. I say mentally she’s nearly twelve.’

  ‘Shower.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Shower or floor.’

  Next time I woke it was sunny behind the curtains. I was sweaty and the sheets under me had come out and got pushed into one half of the bed. The bed was wet with sweat. I could hear Mummy was awake next door.

  I tried to pull back the curtains but they were fixed on the runner and I realised you had to pull a cord on the right side to open them. They slid apart like the curtains on stage at school and there, over the tops of the buildings, I could see the volcano.

  Sakurajima was a stratovolcano, Kenneth Murphy told me. That meant it looked like what people think a volcano looks like. There were other kinds of volcano but these are the most well-known. It was like a pyramid, the edges uneven and curved but about halfway up the top was missing, like it’d been ripped off and the crinkly edges were still there. It was actually three volcanoes all joined together. It was on the other side of the water from Kagoshima and looked like an island and in fact it once was but Taka said that one time so much lava came out that it made a bridge to the other side, you just couldn’t see from here. Dark grey smoke was coming out of the right side of the mountain like it was on fire and rising high into the air, drifting towards us. It was beautiful but I felt a little scared. Maybe it was going to erupt like Vesuvius and cover us all in lava and ash and people in the future would dig us up and put us in museums. I looked down at the streets but no one was panicking so maybe this was normal.

  ‘God, look at the state of your bed.’ Behind me Mummy came in, fussing. She kissed the top of my head and sniffed. ‘Shower.’

  ‘Look Mummy,’ I pointed, ‘it’s a stratovolcano.’

  ‘That’s nice.’ She was straightening my bed and didn’t look. Mummy’s a heart surgeon. She says after you’ve taken out someone’s heart and put a new one in, nothing much can surprise you.

  ‘Come on, shower then breakfast.’

  I was looking forward to breakfast. The hotel had a buffet so I could choose what I wanted. In Hokkaido there was no menu and every meal was decided so if you didn’t like it that was tough. Some of it was nice but some of the vegetables were too bitter and there was too much. At home I had cereal and a slice of toast with marmalade and a piece of fruit. In Japan they have fish and vegetables and rice and soup and pickles and if I ate all that I’d have to go back to bed and sleep again.

  When I came out of the shower Daddy was awake and sitting on a blanket on the floor rubbing his face. Because he was on holiday he’d stopped trimming his beard and it was getting bigger. It was strange because Daddy has brown hair but his beard is red.

  ‘Did you see the volcano, Daddy?’ He nodded. ‘It’s smoking.’ I showed him with my hands, the smoke rising into the clouds.

  ‘It must smell like Daddy then.’ Mummy was making coffee with the tiny kettle. While Mummy dried my hair Daddy had a shower. When he came out he was happier and messed up my hair.

  ‘What kind of volcano is it, Carrie?’

  Mummy rolled her eyes. She didn’t like him calling me Carrie.

  ‘Stratovolcano.’

  ‘What other kinds of volcano are there?’

  ‘Compound. Somma. Caldera. Shield.’

  ‘Good girl. Breakfast?’

  ‘What time is he coming?’ Mummy was putting toilet paper in her khaki backpack.

  ‘Taka? He’ll pick us up out front at half nine.’

  ‘I want to get some juice and snacks from a shop. If we’re going to be out in this heat all day we’re going to need plenty of fluids.’

  ‘I’ll get him to stop somewhere.’

  Full of bacon and orange juice we got into Taka’s car. It was an old Honda but the air conditioner was powerful so it wasn’t too hot. Mummy and I sat in the back. In the streets you often couldn’t see the volcano so I opened Jules Verne. Harry, Professor Hardwigg and Hans were about to begin “The Ascent of Mount Sneffels”.

  ‘Don’t read in the car, Caroline, you’ll get sick.’ Mummy was counting money. ‘Taka, I’d like to stop at a convenience store, please.’

  ‘No problem, Missus Fraser.’Taka swung the car sharply and we bounced over the kerb and into a 7/11 car park. I went in with Mummy. I didn’t need anything but Japanese shops are full of strange things and I liked to try and guess what they were. I stopped to look at a comic but Mummy pushed me by all the magazines because she didn’t like the ones at the end with the naked women on them. We bought juice and nuts and dried fruit and the old woman at the till smiled at me so I smiled back.

  ‘Mummy,’ I poked at the car park ground with my feet, ‘what’s all this black dust?’

  ‘It’s ash, Caroline, from the volcano.’ I looked up at the tower of smoke. One bang and we’d be covered in ash, like Pompeii. We got back in the car and Taka bounced over the pavement and into the traffic.

  ‘Did you buy any candy?’ Taka could see me in the mirror. He had smoked while we were in the shop and the car smelled bad. I wondered if the volcano smelled the same like Mummy said.

  ‘No,’ I closed Jules Verne because it was rude to speak and read at the same time, ‘sweets are bad for my teeth.’

  ‘And they’ll give you diabetes.’ Mummy was holding her hand over her mouth and nose because of the smell. ‘People need to be careful what they put into their body.’ I could see Daddy look at Taka and they both laughed. ‘Were you as drunk as Marcus last night?’

  ‘Now dear,’ Daddy turned round in his seat so he could see Mummy, ‘in Japan what happens at a drinking party is never discussed the next day.’

  ‘How very convenient.’

  Taka looked embarrassed in the mirror but Daddy laughed.

  We drove onto the ferry and got out of the car. I took my books with me and followed Mummy up onto the deck. The ferry was old but had been painted recently and the white parts reflected the sun like mirrors. The water was dark blue, almost black which meant it was very deep, and as I looked over the edge of the ferry I felt like I wanted to jump in, like a rope attached to my stomach was pulling me over the edge and down. I pushed myself back from the side of the boat and walked to the front. We were sailing in a straight line to Sakurajima and as we got closer the volcano appeared higher and higher. I got my camera out of my backpack. It was a red one with an automatic flash that I got from the bank when I opened an account for birthday and Christmas money. I had five films but I’d already used two in Hokkaido. Each one took twenty-four photos. I put the new film in and clicked it shut hard because films need darkness and if any light got in it would ruin every photo. It was very bright so I didn’t need the flash. I looked at the volcano and the smoke through the viewfinder and made sure I could get the smoke in. I took two, just in case one didn’t come out. There were a group of girls posing for each other, holding their fingers up in a peace sign. They were older than me but it was hard to guess their age. They wore short skirts and brightly coloured tops. Daddy and Taka sat on a bench facing the girls.

  Mummy was still angry about last night. At home when she was angry she went running in Westburn Park but she couldn’t do that here. Maybe she could run around the boat. She came over to me. ‘Do you like your book about goddesses?’ I showed her how far I’d got through it, my boarding pass stub as a bookmark.

  ‘Is there a chapter on Pele in it?’

  ‘Pele? He’s a footballer.’

  ‘Not that Pel
e.’ She took the book from me and flicked to the index. ‘Pele was a volcano goddess in Hawaii.’ She showed me the picture. Pele was sitting cross-legged in a red dress holding fire in her cupped hands. She was sitting inside the volcano, or more like she was the volcano. Her long wavy red hair made the sides and a wreath on her head was the summit. Underneath her a lake of magma rippled deep red and yellow, smoke rising around her. Her eyes were open wide, staring straight at me. She looked fierce, beautiful, dangerous, proud but there was sadness in her eyes.

  ‘She’s very volatile. When she is angry the volcanoes erupt and destroy everything in their path. She has to be placated with sacrifices and prayers.’ She looked at Daddy who was looking at the girls posing.

  The whole island was much bigger than it looked from the hotel and even when we drove off the boat we weren’t there yet. Kenneth Murphy said under the car, under the road, miles down, magma was bubbling away. It travelled in underground rivers and when it found a way up, a volcano was formed. Places like Hawaii wouldn’t exist without volcanoes. There was a vent of magma under the plate at that exact spot. As the plate moved it created new volcanoes. Hawaii was only the current volcano. If you looked under the water there was a chain of old Hawaiis like a necklace across the ocean floor.

  ‘Mister Taka-san,’ I closed the book and look at his eyes in the mirror, ‘why is it called Sakurajima? What does it mean?’

  ‘It means Cherry Blossom Island. Sakura is cherry blossom. Jima or shima means island.’

  ‘Like Kagoshima?’

  ‘Yes, that means, um, Baby Deer Island.’

  ‘Can I see the cherry blossom?’

  ‘Not now, Carrie-chan. It opens at the start of spring. It’s too hot now.’

  I liked being called Carrie-chan. Chan is a friendly word used for girls, like ‘Carrie, dear’. Boys get called kun.

  ‘When the sakura opens it’s very beautiful.’ Taka was watching me in the mirror and not looking at the road. There weren’t many cars so maybe it was okay. ‘But it only lasts for a very short time, then it falls to the ground. In Japanese culture the beautiful but short existence of the sakura is a metaphor for our lives. It is a very important reminder to us.’

  ‘Carpe Diem.’ Daddy had been listening too.

  ‘Is that Latin, Daddy?’

  ‘Yes. It means “seize the day”. Enjoy life now because it doesn’t last forever.’

  ‘Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die.’ Taka nudged him across the handbrake.

  ‘Amen.’

  We drove past some girls on bikes. Daddy turned as we went by. Mummy slapped the top of his head.

  ‘There are two observation points,’ Taka stopped but left the engine idling, ‘and that’s as close as people get. This is a private research facility.’

  One old building that looked like it would fall down if you pushed it stood under the shadow of the volcano. Fences ran from either side of the gate north and south. We waited in the car as Taka took another set of keys from his pouch and unlocked the padlock. We drove through, stopping on the other side to relock the gate and then drove up to the building, parking in the shade. Up close the building looked even worse. It might have started out white but it was sort of yellowy now, and some bits were even green or black like there was mould growing. The ground was bare dirt like the bit in front of the hockey goals at school but it was all covered in black ash. There was no grass anywhere but there were lots of shrubs and trees. It looked like a cowboy movie. Hawks floated above. In the sunny blur the wind kicked up the ash and it stung my eyes. I took my sunglasses out of my backpack and put them on. The dust still got in the sides. I needed my swimming goggles. A grain of ash crunched between my teeth.

  ‘We have to walk from here. It will get a little hot.’

  ‘A little?’ Mummy was already wiping her forehead. ‘Leave the books in the car, you can’t read and walk at the same time.’

  ‘I can.’

  ‘Okay, you’re not going to read and walk at the same time.’

  I took one last look at Pele, held the picture up with Sakurajima behind it, then placed it on the back seat. ‘Are we climbing to the top Mister Taka-san?’

  ‘No, Carrie-chan, it’s too dangerous that close. We’re not even supposed to be here. There’s a small cave where they do experiments. We’ll go that far.’

  I was disappointed but tried not to show it. That would be rude. We followed the path that zigzagged up the mountain. I slipped a few times when the rock moved and there was a small landslide behind me and I had to grab onto thin bushes to stop myself, black powder bursting into the air. Taka went first, then me, then Mummy, then Daddy at the back. Taka walked slowly and I had to watch his heels or I’d step on them. I looked back and Daddy was taking a picture of us. I hadn’t taken a picture since the ferry. I took my camera out, jumped round and snapped a quick picture of Mummy and Daddy before they could pose. Maureen, a friend of Mummy’s from work, told me not to let people pose. It wasn’t natural and natural photos are the best. She could take great photos while the camera was resting in her lap so no one knew until they heard the click or saw the flash and by then it was too late.

  ‘Caroline, you’ll fall.’ Mummy looked cross. Was it me, the heat or Daddy? I was never sure. They argued last night but they argue every night. I could always hear them. Sometimes they argued about me and that made me cry. I didn’t want them to argue about me. I didn’t want them to argue at all. Sometimes when they argued things got broken, like cups or ornaments. Once a door.

  Taka stopped and I crashed into him. He was out of breath but making it look like he was waiting for Daddy. Daddy had stopped too and was drinking from his small silver bottle.

  ‘What’s that?’ asked Mummy.

  ‘Hair of the dog.’

  ‘At this time of the morning?’

  ‘It wouldn’t be hair of the dog if it weren’t this time of the morning.’

  ‘This was your idea.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘This volcano. This hike. All of it.’

  ‘I know. And I’m enjoying it.’

  ‘By abdicating all responsibility to me?’

  ‘Who’s abdicating anything?’

  ‘You’ll get pissed, by yourself, and leave me to look after Caroline and sort out lunch and do everything.’

  ‘I’m on holiday.’

  ‘We’re all on holiday.’ Mummy turned her back on him and started walking again. She passed Taka and me. ‘I really appreciate this, Taka-san, organising this trip, getting us onto the volcano, I know it can’t have been easy. I’m sorry to expose you to our bickering.’

  Taka bowed. Mummy kept on walking. Taka looked sad but I couldn’t think of anything to say so I followed Mummy. She was walking fast and I almost had to run to keep up. ‘Mummy, wait.’ My boot caught something and I fell. Slowly a piece of rock came up to meet me, sharp, volcanic, pitted with holes. I had time to notice that, the holes all over it like a million tiny mice had been nibbling it, then everything sped up again and there was deep white pain and I was crying and someone was picking me up and someone was shouting at me because it was all my fault and I couldn’t see out my left eye and I thought I was blind but then I could because it was only blood and Mummy said it was just a cut so stop screaming while she cleaned it and put a plaster on it and because Mummy was a doctor I had to listen so I tried to keep very still but she was rough and prodded and poked my head like it was dough and she was baking bread and I wanted to scream and push her away but I didn’t and eventually it was over.

  ‘Glad I brought this,’ Daddy was holding out the silver bottle, ‘she looks like she needs a stiff drink.’

  ‘That’s it. Come on, we’re going.’ Mummy started going down the way we just came. Taka looked lost.

  ‘Hannah, calm down.’ Daddy watched her go by. ‘You said yourself it’s just a cut.’

  ‘It could’ve been her eye.’

  ‘And that’s my fault? Come on, we’re nearly there, aren
’t we, Taka?’

  He nodded. ‘Five minutes. Ten.’

  ‘Mummy, it doesn’t hurt anymore. I want to see the cave.’

  Defeated, she came back to us and snatched the bottle off Daddy. ‘I need this more than you today. You’ve had enough fun for one holiday.’ She drank long, coughed, put the bottle in her pocket. ‘Right. Cave. Let’s go.’

  It was a small crack that opened into the kind of place cavemen might live. The three grown-ups sat in deck chairs surrounded by scientific equipment, fanning themselves. No one spoke. I wanted to sit down too. I felt dizzy, but the atmosphere around them was bad. I wanted to know what the machines were doing but it wasn’t a good time to ask. I left my backpack next to Daddy and looked around. My head ached and it felt like there was an egg under the plaster. I wondered if there would be a scar. I had a scar on my leg where the front gear cog on my bike ripped out a chunk when we were camping at Loch Morlich. We had to go to hospital then because the cut was full of oil and grease. The scar looked like cling film instead of skin. I touched my forehead and there was blood.

  I wished they’d stop fighting. At home they both worked and after school there was only one or the other, usually Daddy who could get away from work more easily except when he had to go offshore. They argued at night but I could shut them out from my room and it was only when it was really bad that I could hear. I had a tape player and headphones and I listened to tapes when it was like that. I had a couple of Carl Sagan’s, and one called Women of Science which was all about female scientists like Marie Curie and Lise Meitner, and another which was about Darwin’s voyage on the Beagle. I liked imagining him finding these huge turtles on the Galapagos islands. I’d like to go there one day. I wasn’t allowed to bring my tapes with me. Since we came on holiday it had got so much worse. In the airport, on the plane, the hotel and now up a volcano.

  I tried to work out myself what the experiments were. I guessed the scientists wanted to know when it would erupt, like Taka wanted to know when earthquakes would come. One machine drew squiggly lines. Another was full of some kind of liquid. Everything was dusty and ants crawled up the sides and over the top of the machines. Maybe Daddy and Taka used machines like that in their work, although Daddy said his job was mostly paperwork now, except when he had to go offshore. The pay was good, he said, but it wasn’t real geology. Maybe he’d prefer studying earthquakes with Taka.